For decades parents have dreaded "The Talk." There have been jokes, advice columns and even classes built around that moment when parents discuss with their children sex and all of the important health and moral decisions involved.
But Kristin Hanson of High Expectations said the idea of having "The Talk" is out of date and parents and the community need to update the way they handle sex education by emphasizing abstinence.
Hanson leads the High Expectations Healthy Decisions Program which provides a curriculum to teach both teens and their parents about sexual abstinence. (See related article).
Emphasizing abstinence in sex education has often been perceived as somewhat unrealistic or naive, according to Hanson.
But times have changed and Hanson said attitudes need to as well.
"There is no such thing as safe sex anymore," Hanson said, adding that while pregnancy rates are down, there has been an increase in sexually transmitted diseases. "I just feel that we're giving our kids a false sense of security."
She said that physicians have gradually come to embrace the idea of abstinence education as the most effective way to reduce sexually transmitted diseases.
She cites a 2004 article from the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology that argues delaying the start of sex and reducing the number of sexual partners may be the most effective way to reduce sexually transmitted diseases.
Hanson said that in the past 15 years, abstinence education has shifted from being strictly a moral issue, to becoming an important public health issue.
In addition to preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, Hanson said abstinence education fits well with character education and therefore can help reduce other risky behaviors, such as drinking, poor driving and drug use.
Abstinence education is part of delivering a consistent message, Hanson said.
"I want to raise the bar. You don't say 'if you're going to drink, drink light beer,'" Hanson said.
Part of delivering that consistent message, Hanson said, is recognizing that one reason "The Talk" is out of date is that children are getting messages about sex from media from a very early age. As a result, parents need to be open and talk about the topic on a regular basis rather than in a one-time, uncomfortable chat.
Finally, Hanson said, abstinence education recognizes that many teens are making good decisions. She said youth risk behavior surveys taken in Dodge County show that the majority of high school students are not having sex. Giving them tools to continue that behavior should be as important as teaching them about birth control methods, Hanson said.