Children have reason to fear St. Nick this holiday season, and not just because he writes the "Naughty" and "Nice" lists. In Hungary, the state health authority is asking Santa to refrain from kissing children and shaking their hands. Why? That jolly old elf just might carry the swine flu.

The government stopped short of banning Santa, but warned of the risk of contagion and recommended that Santa get vaccinated. In Hungary, Santa arrives Dec. 6, placing gifts in children’s shoes left on window sills. He has contact with many kids at this time of year in Hungary, where the number of flu cases recently jumped by 22,100 in a week, according to the Ananova news service. That puts St. Nick at a high risk of infection. The last thing little Anaszstaizia wants from Santa this year is H1N1.

This concern is shared in the U.S., where Santa Claus unions are calling for their members to be given priority in receiving swine flu shots. (You don’t want to mess with the Santa Claus unions: Those guys aren’t afraid to take you out at the knees with an oversized candy cane.)

Ananova reports that the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas held a seminar on the virus at a recent conference in Philadelphia. The union is lobbying for its members to be put on the swine flu vaccination priority list.

Meanwhile, the rival Santa America group is also calling for Father Christmases to be made a priority group for the swine flu vaccine — much like health-care workers.

Anyone else out there picturing the Santa America union challenging the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas to a "West Side Story" type of rumble in the shopping mall parking lot? OK, back to the topic at hand:

Nicholas Trolli, president of the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas, said the campaign is "not so much to protect the Santa, but to help protect the public." The union urged its members to use hand sanitizer and take vitamins to boost their immune systems — and urged parents to keep sick kids away. Many Santas around the country plan to wash their red suits daily instead of weekly this year, and to eschew their white gloves so they can frequently wash their hands.

"I have heard across the country numerous Santas who have actually had the swine flu, but I have not heard reports back of any of our Santas being able to get the swine flu shot as of yet," Trolli said.

Heck if that doesn’t make you want to just leap onto Santa’s lap. That is, if your Christmas wish list includes chills, aches, diarrhea and vomiting.

It’s looking like a rough year for Santa all around. In New Zealand, one Santa had a droopy eye so pronounced that some feared his aging face would scare children. That’s why he got a $74,000 facelift.

The St. Nick in question is 66 feet tall and fiberglass. It’s a statue that has stood on a street corner in Auckland’s city center since 1960. It even winks and makes a welcoming gesture. This would be charming, except that in recent years the eye started to sag, making Santa look like a half-soused lounge lizard trying to pick up a babe.

"There was a concern the guy did look a little creepy. It was the finger and the sad sack, winking, droopy eye," local official Alex Swney told the Reuters news service.

At Christmastime, the last type of person anybody needs hanging around is a leering old man who gives you the finger. After all, most of us already have an Uncle Larry.

After four months of extensive facial work, Santa’s face remained bandaged ahead of a public unveiling. His mechanical finger has been replaced with a static digit.

This particular Santa has indeed fallen on hard times. But it could be worse: At least he doesn’t have the swine flu.