KELLEY COLUMN: There's something special about men
By Donna Kelley, Sauk Prairie Eagle columnist
At what moment in time do boys get that sudden sense of self, that rush of testosterone that makes them feel invincible?
Does it come and go throughout their lives? Is it God-given, or a little bit of the devil at work? Perhaps it's mother nature injecting them with her own special brand of steroids.
When one of our sons was about 4 years old, we took a trip and traveled late at night. We stopped at a cafe in a small town. I probably just ordered a cup of coffee. I'm sure the kids had hot chocolate.
Himself had gone over to play a song on the juke box when a man, a bit in his cups, headed my way with a glass of beer in his hand.
"Hey lady," he said, "Have you got a cigarette?"
I was sure I was going to get doused with beer at any moment and told him, in a low voice, to get away from me.
Well, my gallant husband, seeing me in distress, turned and ordered the man to leave us alone. The old bum made a hasty retreat, but what was most intriguing was our 4-year-old's reaction.
He looked up at his father, his little fists doubled up and said, "Good thing you did that, dad, I was just about to hit him."
We laughed about it, but also wondered what ever made the little guy think he was capable of such a feat? Why wasn't he cowering in fear for himself or that his father might get into a fight and be injured? No chance. He was all bravado.
It's a male thing. I'm thinking about a little 8-year-old boy choosing a T-shirt that reads, "Is it cool in here or is it just me?" Or a friend's brother preening himself in front of a mirror while we watched from across the room.
"See girls," he said, "Some got it and some ain't. Well, I got it."
Overnight, he had gone from a nice little boy to a conceited teen. I remember wondering when and how he'd changed and why we didn't have even a little of his confidence.
Just the other day, a mother told me about her son leaving for school one morning. She kissed him and said, "I love you."
Her son turned, smiled at his mother and said, "Yeah, mom, you and half the girls in my class."
Cute, but a little scary too. He's 10. So, you see, you just never know when that special sense of self can occur or reoccur.
From the time they are little more than babies, boys want to show off their muscles, flexing their spindly little arms. At 18 they show off their six packs at the beach or in the gym.
A few old timers will remember the weakling featured in the Mr. Atlas ads found on the backs of comic books and magazines years ago. Someone was always kicking sand in the guy's face, until he hooked up with Mr. Atlas.
After training with Mr. Atlas, he was a god strutting around the beach for all the girls to see.
Now TV commercials do the same thing, showing before and after pictures of men who lost their beer bellies on a certain exercise machine. Oh, sure, there are ads about females as well, but they are shown in evening dresses or bikinis, not showing their newfound strength.
There is a definite difference. Having raised boys and two girls, I can attest to that. With the boys, it's a kind of macho attitude that's just part of their nature. Maybe it's a throwback to the cave man that leaks through, now and then, as they grow from pudgy babies to middle aged men who still pull in their tummies and puff out their chests when a pretty girl walks by.
Whatever it is, it's kind of fun to watch and I think most of us still say, "Viva la difference."
- Donna, a former commercial writer, radio and television personality, is a wife to Himself, a mother and a grandmother. Donna is also a watercolorist.